How to Forgive the Worst Offense – Pt. 2

In the first post, we discussed the importance of forgiving our offenders, regardless of how bad we’ve been hurt.  It’s unhealthy, physically, mentally and spiritually, for the offended person to hold a grudge.  It seems natural to us that we not let the offender get away with his trespass.

But holding on to unforgiveness causes headaches, ulcers, insomnia, depression and a host of other serious symptoms.  Not to mention, we are straining our fellowship with God when we hold a grudge.  Jesus commands us to forgive.  He tells us “…if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15).  Being out of fellowship with God is dangerous business.

We know it is right, but it seems impossible that we will ever be able to forgive. So how do we do it?  It is going to require three actions from you:  giving something, receiving something and believing something.

The first action is the subject of this post—giving something.  Are you ready?

Give the job of vengeance to the professional. 

Have you ever considered what prompts us to hold a grudge in the first place?  Do you know why we feel like we just can’t let it go?  It’s because we believe that somehow, by holding on, the offender will not get away with their trespass or offense.  But that’s not true.  God sees everything, knows every circumstance, knows every motivation of an individual’s heart; and He is far more capable of executing justice on sinners than we are.  He is the divine professional.  

When we try to do the work only qualified professionals are capable of, we are certain to make a mess of the whole situation.  

Years ago, I loved auto mechanics.  My senior year in high school consisted of one government class and three auto shop classes.  Don’t tell anyone, but I usually spent my government hour in the auto shop anyway.  As long as I passed the tests and worked on the government teacher’s car for cost of parts, I was free to envelop myself in grease and oil.  

I loved rebuilding engines, grinding valves, doing body work or anything that was related to fixing cars.  But times are different now.  When I need my vehicle repaired, it’s not like the old days where I pulled into the garage and turned a wrench.  Today things are all computerized and it takes specialized training to repair most functions of newer-model vehicles.  I have to take it to the trained technicians.  

If I tried to fix things myself, it would take longer, cost more (having the mechanic repair what I broke trying to fix the initial problem), and cause me more grief.  Believe me on this.  I’ve done it both ways.  If I turn it over to the professional mechanic and let him work his magic, it’s going to cost a little more out of pocket, but I’m free to do the work that’s most important to me while the work that I’m not good at is getting accomplished with accuracy.  

That’s the way it is with vengeance.  If I give it to God and trust Him to handle it the way He sees fit, it will result in the best possible outcome.  And, I will be free to do what I’ve been called to do.  I can pursue the life God has given me to live without carrying around the extra baggage of resentment, guilt, anger, wrath, bitterness, etc.  

Paul instructs us this way:  “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:18–21).

Remember, God is only wise (Romans 16:27).  There is no error in His judgment. He’ll never make a mistake. He’s a professional at dealing with people.  If you give it to him and trust him, you will take the first step to fully forgiving your offender.  You can start, today, living liberated, free and alive!

Then, Read Part 3 here.

How has turning vengeance over to God helped you forgive?  Would you be willing to share your story in the comments?

P.S. - There is a tendency for us to want to go back to God and check up on him–see how He’s progressing with our problem. In the next post, I’ll share what it is you need to receive to be able to leave the offense with God.